Comments on: Are You Keeping the Main Thing, the Main Thing?

By: Sam Davidson

Sam Davidson — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:56:58 +0000

Thanks for drawing my attention to this today via Twitter.

I like how the context of marriage is what prompted this post. I tell people that I’ll be married to 5 or 6 women in my lifetime.

Of course, I’ll always be married to Lynnette, but she’ll change over the course of her life. So will I. That’s why it’s important to know not just what your main thing is, but that it will change.

By: Alex

Alex — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:50:25 +0000

Hi Monica,

First, thank you and I’m glad we’re able to connect here. It is definitely hard and everyday on my walk to work, I too ask myself: What is my main thing, and I try to keep my main thing as the priority. But, it’s hard. And, I fail at it a lot sometimes. But what I’ve learned and what keeps me more on track, is that I’m often better and more productive when my priorities are in check as it makes me a happier person.

As for the mantra–I can’t take credit for that. Qui Diaz (@beautifulthangs) got me on that soundwave!

By: Monica

Monica — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:24:32 +0000

Alex, I don’t know how(or where) I found you, but I really like your blog.

I especially like this one. It’s easy for those of us that are trying to everything (have amazing careers, and have the kinds of personal relationships (friends, colleagues, significant others, families) that we craze to have trouble keeping the main thing the main thing.

I asked myself what’s my main thing, and my head said, “Duh, work.” But my heart said, “Nah, You wouldn’t be where you currently are if you really believed that.”

Wow. How’s that for a reality check. I’m adding “keep the main thing the main thing” to my mantra collection.

By: Jocelyn

Jocelyn — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 11:23:58 +0000

Alex,

Such sage advice and from someone so young! Like dear Qui, you strike me as a wise soul but I digress.

At 40, with a new marriage and a beautiful 7 year-old it’s getting easier to “keep the main thing, the main thing” because I have more perspective and experience and I’ve made SO many mistakes.

But here are my tips:
1)let go and let God/Allah/your Higher Power – whatever you call it- be a key guiding force for your life if only to help you find balance between this crazy secular world and another universe – which is much bigger, fulling and wiser.
2)do things that inspire – read, write, cook, listen to music, dance, make love, laugh with friends – doing things that move you will fill your soul.
3) breathe – life is SO fast and we spend so much time on automatic pilot. it’s important to stop and be quiet throughout the day to train your body to relax and train your mind so that you can choose the right action.

OK. That’s a lot for 7:30am. But your post inspired me! Love and peace to you and yours always!

Jocelyn

By: Tresha Thorsen

Tresha Thorsen — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 07:34:09 +0000

We each have a core yearning..Geoff’s post a while back referenced that question of ethics and weighing in…Alex you speak here of ‘the main thing”…time and again I find that what keeps me being true to my main thing is taking moments each day to identify with my core yearning…which has very little to do with any external achievement…those are the outcomes. my core yearning, and i’d venture to say all of ours, something to do with being truth…in so many varied ways anc capacities sure, but by being it, living it, however we are able, we’re that much more connected to what is forging a better humanity.
grateful for your post alex and for all ya’ll’s comments…here’s to keepin it real.

By: Erica Holt

Erica Holt — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:07:18 +0000

Alex, I can relate to your post. Pre-marriage, pre-kid(s) — ok those happened at the same time 🙂 — I thought my career and finding success were the most important things in the world. My perspective changed. I enjoy having my own professional interests and work outside of family, but my family is and always will be my top priority. I’m also not as ambitious and successful as the impressive folks you write about, so maybe that’s the trade off?

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:54:41 +0000

@Andre Well said my friend. Thank you for all the encouragement over the year. It’s been great meeting people like you, Qui and others along this grand journey.

@Geoff That is very sweet. Honesty is where it all starts. And, I here you on the struggle. It’s one reason I force myself to ask this question and evaluate where I’m putting my time everyday. But I’d give anything to make it all work, and I’m so thankful and humbled by Blake’s love, devotion and commitment.

By: Geoff Livingston

Geoff Livingston — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:22:47 +0000

I wish I could say I lived up to this. I struggle a lot, to be frank, but in the end am still married, now in my 5th year. Marriage can be a slog, but if you don’t keep it first and sacrifice everything else to try to keep it intact — companies, friendships, others expectations of you, personal ego and selfish desires for comfort — then in the end you cannot say you gave it everything. No matter how it works out in the end, that’s all I want: To look in the mirror and say I gave Caitlin everything I had.

By: Andre Blackman

Andre Blackman — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:14:41 +0000

Thank you so much Alex for making this point – it’s not always easy but it’s worthwhile to keep focused on the things that really matter. It’s funny you brought this up because of the past week or so I have been mulling over how important our loved ones/family are in the context of this whole bubble of work harder x 200 and achieve achieve achieve. Growing up, achievement was what it was all about. Now that I’m older, achievement is important but it’s what comes between those achievements and what GETS you there, is what counts.

In my world that is most definitely my wife, the future well being of my family and the people I come across during the journey that help make it worthwhile.